transvagworld

Living up north has been interesting.  Besides the occasional near death of a fox, coyote, and a bear by my car, wherever you go its usually a pretty drive.  Living minutes from Lake Michigan beach has been an experience also.  It goes from mountains of sand at the beach, to mounds and mounds of sand in my vehicle, to piles of sand in my house carpets and floor.  So when the Kirby salesman knocked on my door this summer and offered to ‘clean my carpets’  it comes to no surprise that I gladly and naively took her up on the offer.  After watching demonstration upon demonstration of the shitpiles of sand that I knew were  lurking in my carpet, i decided i had to purchase one.  You know, because I NEED this huge cadillac of a vacuum, AND there was the added bonus that the saleslady gets more ‘points’ to go to Mackinac Island.  I did it mostly so the lady got her points, ya know?  Everyone was happy in the end.  So now i vacuum EVERY day, and ive even found a way for Adam to be in on the fun.  He likes to play ‘where did Kristy leave the vacuum today’ game where I leave the vacuum in the middle of the floor that i last vacuumed.  That Adam loves his games.  Hes also become quite fond of ‘why is there an empty milk jug in the fridge’ and the ‘Ally can you get me some toilet paper’ game while sitting on the toilet.  Great times, great times.
 

So this past Monday I was franctically calling the thousands of friends that I have here to see if they would go to GR with me on Tuesday to my orthodontist appt and then go shopping while we were at it.  At the end of the night there were so many people that wanted to go that i had to call all of them and cancel because there wasnt enough room to go.  So I decided to go by myself.  So on Tuesday after dropping Avery off at daycare and was about to head to Allys school to drop her off, Ally asks ‘mom where are you going’ to which I replied in an annoying voice, ‘fine I guess you can skip school today and go with me since you keep bugging me about it.’  So off we went me and my best friend to Grand Rapids.  We didnt have much time to shop after my appointment was done so we needed to prioritize.  We wanted to go to the cool stores that have the latest fall fashions… you know like Gymboree and Baby Gap.  So after much whining from Ally that she wanted to stay in baby gap all day, i finally dragged her out and we went home. 
 

The other night Adam and I really felt like spending time together when I got out of work.  So we decided to get the playing cards out.  Ally won the game of Uno 3 times!  Dont feel so sorry for me, we do get to go out… the best part about it is we only have to drive 1 1/2 hours one way to drop the kids off at our nearest babysitters.  My moms.  But its not that bad.  Especially when theres bears to see and shit.  We got to go out the other night in fact.  I was shaking my behind at a bachelorette party and Adam went to a ducks and beer unlimited meeting.  We were together though at the end of the night… on the phone where we drunkenly had a deep conversation.  Adam even remembers everything we talked about. 
 

Its that time of year again for our entire house to be sick every day of the winter.  But at our house, its not just the common cold.  We get ringworm, infected spider bites, and green shit oozing out of eyes.  My kids have become quite the connoseuers of antibiotics.  Its become such a staple in our house that you can find a bottle almost anywhere.  The fridge, bathroom cabinets, underwear drawers, you name it.  My personal fave is the bubblegum flavor.  I think that one is called amoxicillan.  Ive been wrong before though.
 

Every now and again i get the urge to do something ‘different.’  You know, like rearranging the furniture, painting walls, and cloth diapering to name a few.  The other night Adam came home from work to find Avery in one of his cloth diapers and he says, ‘wft is on my kids tush?’  To which i replied in a i do this all the time voice, ‘a cloth diaper.’  He goes on and on and on about how people dont do that anymore and if they do they have a diaper service.  He was disgusted by the thought of having poo and urine sitting in a pile smelling and rotting.  I reassured him that its not THAT bad and that all you gotta do is, take the diaper off carefully as to not let any pieces of undigested pieces of corn fall out, put a clothespin on your nose, dump the poo out in the shitter and pray to God a chunk doesnt land hard in the pot and make a splash of toilet water hit you in the eye.  If its a diarrhea diaper, all you have to do is put the whole diaper in the toilet and swish it around and keep flushing until the diaper looks almost clean.  Im not sure why, but I couldnt convince him.  I guess I will just have to do it myself on my days off.
 

I wrote this last night before I called in TWICE and it was much better and funnier.  Unfortunately, myspace ate it, and its nowhere to be found.  For some reason though i cant quite get in the mood to be funny this morning.  I did learn a moral to this story though.  Always try to look at the bright side of things no matter what… and that loud snoring keeps me awake at night and makes me write blogs.
 

All in all i love my life and wouldnt have it any other way.  Sure we have absolutely no help with ANYTHING, but thats why we are pretty close knit family of four.  When we do things, it is SPECIAL, and that really is what life is all about

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